The Weekly #WeAreNotAmused – Misogyny and Side-Walking

As *superunseriously as We are, there are things in the world that are *superactuallyserious. Today We ponder “How Many Times” by DJ Khaled (no links–search it yourOWNself). Here’s an excerpt of (edited-for-language) lyrics:

How many times I gotta tell that [lady] to come over?
I’ll [love] you right, have you walking from side to side
You know how a [gentleman] feel ’bout wasting time
You know how I feel about waiting in line
You know he ain’t it, girl you’re wasting your time
You’ll only ditch him for a moment in time, take it in stride
How many times I gotta tell that [lady] to come over?
(+2 more)
I’ll [love] you right, have you walking from side to side
How many times?

Dude–she’s just not that into you. Really not. Since you’re asking, We assume that you have told her to come over, like, eighty-four times, at LEAST, because that seems like a reasonable number of times to repeat something before getting exasperated enough to sing a song about it with your friends.

Our best guess is that she has not responded to your generous invitation because she’s interested in continuing to walk “traditionally”.

Walking side-to-side raises questions.
Human side-walking raises questions.

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If everyone jumped off a bridge with freshly-ironed clothes, would you do it?

Here’s the thing about ironing clothes: We all have clean clothes that are removed from dryers or clotheslines “uncrisp” as the mottled flesh of a juicy, barely-still-ok-to-eat orange. We all know that this is the way of the Freshly Cleaned. And we all know that we all know this deepest, darkest of secrets of our loved ones, neighbors, and negligible frenemies. Nevertheless, we all participate in the mass delusion that nay, NAY, clothes that are clean emerge freshly starched and pressed with hot, heavy things, and people who respect themselves would never pretend otherwise.

You need to be warned, Gentle Reader: The social convention of preferential treatment of ironed clothing is the most insidious of groupthink.

Groupthink occurs when a group makes faulty decisions because group pressures lead to a deterioration of “mental efficiency, reality testing, and moral judgment”.  Groups affected by groupthink ignore alternatives and tend to take irrational actions that dehumanize other groups.

(Taken from the website of Psychologists for Social Responsibility, about a concept initially explored by Irving Janis, after a termed coined by William H. Whyte, Jr, which was influenced by George Orwell’s doublethink. Ugh, it’s just this…whole…thing.)

If spending time straightening the wrinkles that nature intended is not an irrational action and/or faulty decision and/or straight up waste of time, then *superunseriously will fold and hang and (gasp!) iron piles of “freshly” laundered, still-wrinkled clothing (conveniently located all over Our home!).

In a well-written–and possibly factually inaccurate because *superunseriously–response to the (understandably anonymous) question “Why do we iron clothes?” (2011) on StrangeQuestions.com, brave user bjones describes the historical context for the social preference for non-wrinkled clothing as related to the non-wrinkles of youth and the social status boost of flaunting the disposable means and time to spend on counter-wrinkle measures. However, his valiant efforts to inform the anonymous questioner are swept aside by the following parting thoughts:

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Nobody needs another blog. Nobody.

There are two types of Internetters: the cool kids who write blogs, and the pitiable masses who read them and then quote them to the general entertainment of acquaintances who laugh at and not with them. And all the folks who never read blogs OR the Internet. Truth.

There are lots of blogs, according to scientists and the aforementioned pitiable masses. Definitely too many to read or care about, already. But summertime is for writing blogs, right? And aren’t All Days Ever a good time to procrastinate from productive pursuits by starting a blog? So this here weblog is happening.

*superunseriously is new to blogging, but We have heard a thing or two about how it works. Evidently, links in blog posts and on the Blogroll(?!) are important. Gentle Reader, You should know that links provided on *superunseriously are for Your much-needed improvement and Our much-needed entertainment—there’s no compensation for such linking because it’s likely that the linked are ignorant of said socially-acceptable stalking.

Just to keep You feeling in the loop (yet not actually in the loop), here’s a preview of upcoming

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